Promises, Vows, and Giving Your Word

Promises Are Meant to be Broken

Well, that is not actually true, but it is a folklore statement that helps people shrug off the guilt when they decide to break the promise or not keep their word. Whether making a promise or a vow is a sin, is a strong NO. We too easily lose track of some details in our words and in our intentions, but it is the 'breaking of the vow' where the sin lies.

Jephthah's Daughter

The infamous story of Jephthah is one of a vow that made is too lengthy to include here, but please read the entirety with this link; Jephthah's Vow. Essentially though, it all boils down to this one verse where he makes his vow, "And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands, then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD'S, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering." (Judges 11:30-31)

Well... God did honor Jephthah's plea to deliver the children of Ammon into his hands, but he was so arrogant and sure of himself, he never considered just HOW his vow could play out. Jephthah was a man of his word, even to the point of losing his only daughter. He was NOT about to break a vow to God.

Promises and Vows Can Be Good

Jacob made a very good and very wise vow; to trust in God. Genesis 28:20 tells us, "And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on..."

Later as the people of Israel were facing yet another enemy, they made a vow. Numbers 21:2 reads, "And Israel vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou wilt indeed deliver this people into my hand, then I will utterly destroy their cities."

Deuteronomy 23:22 reads; "But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee." Should a Christian make a promise? This article on GotQuestions.org helps clear that up, and essentially "A Christian should make a promise only if he or she fully intends to keep it."

The Gotcha About Vows

Vows or promises in and of themselves are not a sin. It is the breaking of the vow or promise where God warns us about the calamity to follow. Deuteronomy 23:21 reads; "When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee." Then, getting over to Ecclesiastes 5:4 we can see, "When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed."

We are not doomed when we break a vow, though. Vows are not an unforgivable sin but be very careful if you approach a vow thinking "Oh, I can always be forgiven for this" in your heart. There is another great article here on GotQuestions.org regarding forgiveness for broken vows to God. This article concludes with, "Breaking a vow is serious, but it is not an unforgivable sin. God forgives believers when we come to Him with a contrite heart. God’s love, grace, and mercy do not end. No failure, including breaking a vow, can separate us from God’s love in Christ"

Now-To the How-To

Another saying that seems to parallel the one I opened with is; "Never make a promise you cannot keep". Ecclesiastes 5:5 reads; "Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay." Here are a few hurdles we face when it comes to making a promise or a vow;

• The Future: we cannot see the future, so making a promise or a vow is your way of ensuring or guaranteeing that a 'thing' will come to pass. We make a marriage vow to our spouse, but all too often cannot fulfill it whether by choice or fate. Regarding a promise or vow, make every effort to give yourself time to think about it, time to ruminate over it, and time for the Lord to lead you, too. Many times, the urgency of a matter may not allow you to take the time you need. Be very careful in these times and instead of making an actual promise or vow, use the "I will do the best that I can" or the "...with every fiber of my being" approach. These may help you recognize that we are walking fallibility and there are things that can be out of our control. But, we are also reliable, dependable, and certainly faithful to follow through in our commitments. James 4:13 - 4:17 reminds us; "Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that. But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin".

• God's Will: we do not know God's will for us. Many times, we use a vow or a promise to provide assurance to others that we 'will' complete a task, or follow through with our intentions. Romans 12:2 reminds us, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Paul even reminded the Ephesians of going to great lengths to add more assurance of our word or our intentions. In James 5:12 he tells them, "But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation."

• Good Intentions: we do not always have the best of intentions. Many times, we can schmooze someone, we can offer assurance, we can sound hopeful and honest to others, but deep in our hearts we know we 'can' get away with not fulfilling a vow. It is deception in the purest form and while it hurts others, it damages us even more. We become callous and our conscious gets desensitized to the guilt, the shame and the sin of this trait in our lives. In 1 Timothy 4:2 we read; "...Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;" We must be careful to be honest, to be forthright, and certainly to be true to our own conscious, too. 2 Corinthians 1:12 reminds us, "For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward."